Dreams are glimpses of green grass
behind the prison bars of heavy flesh.
Hopes are faint whispers through the fog,
promises with no substance.
Survival becomes the thing.
Tossing back and forth,
Infinite sleep is not enough.
And climbing through your brain
At night, when the world rests and the night quiets,
You stave off sleep
That wouldn't be restful even if it embraced you.
And when the world wakes,
Eyes open to a dirty trench
Where you must choose
Between breakfast and a shower,
Because both are war,
And we must pick our battles.
The eruption of shoulds, coulds, wishes,
Fall on your head
Like the ash of Pompeii -- smothering doom.
Frozen in time,
You sit in a gray world
Wishing for the rainbow.
And if you manage to get through the day,
To feed yourself (A+),
To shower, even (gold star!),
To get to work
At a reasonable time (super!)
To get home safely
without driving your fucking car
into oncoming traffic (outstanding!)
To pass by the things in your life
That used to bring joy,
To collapse on the couch
And scroll until bed,
Where you'll toss back and forth,
Where infinite sleep is not enough,
Where climbing through your brain
At night, when thoughts ache and night torments
You think,
If the cycle breaks tonight,
It would be well with my soul.
Depression
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